I think my dog is a perverted old man.
In dog years he between 91-98 years old if you use the old seven years = one human year thing.
So he's old.
He has rotten teeth.
He hobbles around pathetically. He has trouble getting up and down stairs. It takes him a half hour to sit down.
He sleeps all day.
So you'd think his, um, sex drive would be turned off, right? Done? Finito?
Catch this. Every time I start riding the trainer he gets a hard on. He's fixed! He has no scrotum! And yet there it is.
Yep. The hum of the trainer does it every time. He gets up on all four and starts humping the air. He moves closer to the trainer and tries to thrust into it like it's a young virgin pup. He humps across the room, crashing into his sister, and lifting her legs to check out her smell.
It. is. repulsive.
It is also hysterical.
What is up with THAT?
What else do I have to say?
I need to become perfect.
I need my life to become only about the following things:
2. bike, run, swim, weights/core. in that order.
3. bike, run, swim, weights/core. in that order.
4. bike, run, swim, weights/core. in that order.
5. no more junk food. no more drinking.
6. no more staying up late.
7. no more sleeping in.
8. no more messing around.
It would be lovely to have a Friday night glass of wine and some pizza, though.